I am James Bitter
And I am a ginger. But I never let it hold me back. Despite the fear of direct sunlight, the alleged lack of a soul, and the constant name-calling — "Tango schpreek," "Fanta pants," and my personal favourite, "ginger ninja minja" — I managed to transition from child to adult fairly uneventfully, and now I stalk the Earth like any other human man. I pay taxes, occasionally construct a wardrobe, and take joy in the simple things in life like taking a hot shower and shouting at the TV. Oh, and I write — which is probably the bit you want to hear about, right? I should have opened with that.
The actual novel writing came quite late in life for me, which was in everybody's best interests because I was a complete moron for the first 38 years. Prior to that I had only dabbled in the writing world. Dipped my toes as it were. There was a handful of unpublished children's books that I gave to friends, including 'Chicken have a shower', 'Capybara's got moves', and 'What on Earth is a Cat-rabbit?'. Then there was a 'toilet-reading' book called 'Rarest Birds of Britain' that included a whole host of birds so rare that no photographic evidence existed of them. Which meant I had to draw them myself... badly. And who could forget my canine hip-hop alt-rock band 'The Spaniels', with hits like 'Tip the Cow' and 'Mosquito in my Trousers'? Not many could forget, because not many people noticed.
Anyway, now I'm 42 (the nerdiest age to be) and old enough to write some serious literature. Some Tales of the Hooviverse.
I also have a job would you believe. Got bills to pay. I've been a scientist for most of my adult life, and continue to be one in the field of cognitive neuroscience. That means I spend my time poking the brain with a metaphorical stick, trying my best to figure out what in the bejesus is going on in there. I have to confess that we're still not that much closer to working it out, but hey, the brain is the most complicated object in the universe, so gimme a break. Jeez. These days I spend a lot of time making educational videos about research, which involves a lot of serious thinking, reading complicated scientific articles, and the occasional green screen session with puppets. My favourite part is the puppets.